“Find meaning. Distinguish melancholy from sadness. Go out for a walk. It doesn’t have to be a romantic walk in the park, spring at its most spectacular moment, flowers and smells and outstanding poetical imagery smoothly transferring you into another world. It doesn’t have to be a walk during which you’ll have multiple life epiphanies and discover meanings no other brain ever managed to encounter. Do not be afraid of spending quality time by yourself. Find meaning or don’t find meaning but “steal” some time and give it freely and exclusively to your own self. Opt for privacy and solitude. That doesn’t make you antisocial or cause you to reject the rest of the world. But you need to breathe. And you need to be.”
I’m tired of this shit. Like always having it in mind that you’d be falter if something do not go your way. It has been bugging me since 2 weeks ago.(rather I admit that this has been my problem for 2 years). Fear is the state of mind I’m carrying right now. And I keep asking why is it? Is this just habitual practice or something really bad whirling in my mind? My confidence is dwindling every day, and it seems I could give up any time around. What did I become? How can’t I stop this fear engulfing in my mind? How can I go back to my old self where self-confidence and believe to myself was my key in having a right mind.. Right now, I don’t know where it leads me - maybe in the darkness and or in the light. I am ashamed of myself having going through this seeing other people ignorantly judging that I am such a person. No I am not. I am better than you guys could probably think of. One day, I promise I would not prove anything to people but would prove to myself I can be at my fullest and living like to my old self. I did not want this after all. It happened just arbitrarily out of straight line. And the more problems occur because I couldn’t control the epitome of the problem. I couldn’t control the mind which controls the body. I couldn’t focus to things that matter. I could not live what I want to be. But the things is, I will not give up. I will not let people judge me the way they see me since I don’t really give shit to what they say or think. Let this fire burn inside my chest and shout I’ll prove that I wanna do my best as I can. No one will stop me, neither myself darker side cant stop me. I will reach that goal one day!
An epiphany of the unfolding new career is starting to bloom which started last December. I’ve had up and downs in short span I’ve stayed in the hotel. It reminds of my past of being knee-jerk, always afraid of something I don’t know. Anyways, I am looking forward to my next role for this year. I’ve been waiting what journey I would partake, which path I would sail. It’s always been setting for my goals this year since I will be much on the “go with the flow” basis, none of my should-be personal objectives haven’t any had foundation yet, but I’ll have time to look to it, lest I’ll need it in the near future.
Mr. Daybreak is one of our most under-appreciated guardians of the heavens. Each morning, he diligently does his job of bringing the sun in to end the night, never asking for thanks. Why not show him a little appreciation with this tee?
Printed on American Apparel.
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